I’ve been thinking a lot about what I deserve and don’t deserve. Sometimes that ends up involving other people especially when it comes to relationships. I realized that it is so true when they say you teach people how to treat you, and it is important to have self-love and be assertive at all times.
It’s Not The End of the World
Over time you start to realize that just because one door closes there is always another door just waiting to be opened. That is something I’ve had to personally learn in growing as an adult and developing my character as a human being. It’s so easy to feel like life is over and that you’ll never find something or someone as good as what you had.
To me, that is romanticizing. I guarantee once you find the right something or someone you’ll find out that you didn’t really have it as good as you thought. It also goes to show you how our memory isn’t that good. It’s always playing tricks on us and making us think things were better than they actually were.
No worries though. We’ve all been there before. Coming to terms with let’s say a job or relationship isn’t the ultimate sign that you’ve made it and have nothing else once those are gone is no way to live. There is always something or someone better. God or the universe didn’t make our purpose to stick with the first thing to find us.
Love Yourself First
I can’t stress enough how important self-love and self-care are. When you show love and care for yourself you don’t have time to allow anyone to treat you less than you deserve. You will stand up for yourself even if you’re standing alone and will hold up your beliefs regardless of what others say.
It’s so easy to put others or their opinions before yourself but don’t do that. You deserve to be your own biggest support. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you can’t love others, but it does mean that you will make sure you’re taken care of.
It’s not selfish. It is a necessary part of life because if you don’t put yourself first then who will? Having a great opinion of yourself and knowing exactly what you stand for makes all the difference in the world. I’m personally to the point that if my assertiveness makes you uncomfortable then you need to move around and out of my face.
You Won’t Have to Force It
When something or someone is meant for you, you won’t have to force it. I am a true believer in everything falling into place at the right time.
The best relationship I’ve had came naturally and I never felt like I had to force to get his attention or get him to show interest. That’s how you know it’s real and meant to be. When someone is consistently having you beg and fight for their attention then you need to let them go. They’re not for you and there will be someone who is.
When it comes to relationships there should be a mutual effort and respect. When someone doesn’t respect you it usually shows in their efforts toward you. We’ve all wanted someone so bad that we ignored the signs that they just weren’t that into us.
In return, we’re left hurt and confused as to why they didn’t feel we were good enough. I’m here to tell you that you are good enough. It truly is them and not you!
I had to learn that the hard way, but the reward of finally being with someone who does care and shows the effort I deserve is so much more rewarding. If anything it makes you that much more grateful when things do start to go right with the right guy or girl.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
This is still a struggle for me. I tend to be on the dramatic side, but I’m getting there. Sweating the small stuff makes things worse 9 out of 10 times.
When you meet someone who sweats the small stuff there is usually perfectionism that drives this force underneath the surface. I’m learning that being perfect isn’t worth the superficial relationships you form and the cost of your peace of mind.
All perfectionism does is make you feel worse and like it’s the end of the world when shit falls apart. Not everything is going to be perfect and not everything is meant to be perfect as well.
People aren’t perfect and you have to accept them for who they are. You’re not perfect and you have to accept yourself for who you are. If you’re still trying to find out who that is, that is that is perfectly okay because most of us are.
Learning to let go can happen in all types of instances in life. You have to know which battles to choose and what is worth fighting for. One battle you should know is that you are always worth fighting for.
Through it all there is light at the end of the tunnel. You’ll find that someone or something that sends you to the moon and back.
Learning to just let go and cease the perfectionism can make a world of a difference in how you view yourself and interact with others. Also, it is never worth staying with someone or in something who makes you feel small and insecure. If you’re feeling like you are constantly putting in the effort with nothing in return, you’re probably right. That is a huge warning sign and you need to get the hell out while you can. My challenge for you is to let go, be assertive and love yourself unconditionally.