The thing harder than falling into love has to be falling out. If you think about it, your whole world changes drastically. No longer can you reach out and share moments with that lover or they comfort you when times get hard. This time they caused a hard time and there is nothing you can do about it.
Here I am, yet, again going through a gut-wrenching breakup. I may be doing dramatic, but this is a tough pill to swallow and hurts like hell. I really thought things were going to be different with him and it hurts that he is literally the same as every other guy I’ve dated in the past. I honestly don’t even know where things started to go wrong. Maybe I’m just that much in the clouds to where I don’t see what is truly going on around me. We went from one day of him introducing me to his family and us spending every day together to me reminding him of his ex so he wants to call it quits.
The good news is I’ll eventually be okay. This is not a death sentence although it may feel that way and it isn’t the end of the world. He’s not the only man I will love in my life and certainly not the last. In fact, he met me when I had things end with another ex. It’s almost like the circle of life.
I still can’t get over the fact that I truly thought we were going to last. How stupid of me to believe and hope for a change in something where I don’t have all of the control. I forgot there was another brain and feelings making the decision for me. I forgot that there was the possibility we wouldn’t be in sync. I forgot. The 23-year-old dreamer forgot to only be an optimist and not put all of her eggs in the basket. Trust me it will happen again unless I remember to remind myself and that is perfectly okay.
I’ve learned that even through these hard times it doesn’t affect your value and you can still hold your head high. So here I am. With my heart broken, but my head held high ready to conquer love and not let this experience turn me negative because I deserve so much more than that. We all deserve so much more than that.
The next time you find yourself hurt by love, let me tell you that you’re not alone. You will get through this and everything will be okay. Your optimism will pay off in due time and you can’t let the negativity of one bad event change your whole outlook. There will be someone different who rocks your world and reminds you of why you had to go through this eventually. At least this is what I hope for myself and for you.
So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love. – E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly