I haven’t done a real reflection post in a while and thought that this was the perfect time to do one. I want to share the lessons I learned AFTER college was over and done with. These are some lessons that truly changed my perspective and life for the better.
Not Everyone Is Your Friend
I learned this both in and out of college. I’ve had many friendships that have ended over the years that I thought would last for a lifetime. You’re not going to get along with everyone and shouldn’t expect people to appreciate your friendship the way you do. You’re two different people that have different backgrounds and experiences.
Those experiences shape you into who you are and how you relate which may mean you clash and that’s okay. The important thing is finding those people who you don’t constantly clash with that are your biggest fans and vice versa. Those people who will have your back through it all.
I can proudly say I’ve found that in my two best friends, Veronica and Raquel. I feel sufficient with them being my only two real friends and am blessed to have them in my life.
Your Job Will Be Different Than Your Degree
I heard that this happens, but I didn’t think it would be me. I ended up getting my first real job in insurance and my current job is in collections. That is completely different than advertising, but strangely I’m okay with this. I feel like I ended up where I needed to be and the convenience of my job to my apartment also helps.
I still hate that I worked so hard for my degree to not even do anything with it. All I have is to say I have an education. At times it feels like a waste of money when I see how much my student loans are and how I’m not making ads. Honestly, I don’t think I would have been happy in advertising anyway so it worked out.
Life Happens After College
I thought that because my college experience wasn’t the best that I was doomed for life. To my surprise, it has been the complete opposite. Don’t get me wrong it hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies, but it has definitely been better than college.
I don’t deal with bullying anymore and finally, have the independence I dreamed of having in school. I’m starting to figure out what I like and have actual hobbies. It’s way better than going to class and then back to my room trying to make friends with people who don’t care about me.
I have even traveled more than I did in school, but I could use some more travel in my life. I’m still successful and beating the odds. I’m finally getting my emotional and mental health together to where I control it instead of the other way around. I definitely like how things are starting to go regardless of the mistakes I may make along the way.
You Won’t Meet The Love Of Your Life Right Away
This was a hard one because I’ve always longed to be in a relationship and get married someday. I just got out of my first real relationship for the better and realize now that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
I ‘ve gotten comfortable with being by myself because being in a verbally, emotionally abusive relationship is not worth my wellbeing. We had good times, but the bad outweighed them. I finally see that it’s important to take your time to get to know someone and not rush the process.
You’ll probably date quite a few people before you find the one and that is okay. There is no law that says you have to date one person for the rest of your life out of obligation when it’s unhealthy for you. I also don’t need to be married right now or ever to feel complete. I’m my own person and bring something unique to the table and he should too. We don’t have to be each other’s half to make a whole. We need to already be whole to come together in a relationship that will last.
You Should Date You
This is so so so important. It was the biggest and best lessons I could have ever learned. It kind of goes with the whole relationship piece. It’s important to get to know who you really are and want to be. It’s not going to be linear, but it helps to have somewhat of an idea of who you are and where you’re going.
I’m currently dating myself by figuring out what makes me happy, what I like to do, and how to enjoy my own company. I’m finding out that I don’t need a man or anyone else to make me feel whole and love myself. Looking back at my past, I can tell that’s what was missing from the equation. The way I allowed people to treat me and how I treated myself showed that there was a lack of love and confidence.
I’m happy to say that I’m learning to love me and gaining confidence every day. I’m taking care of myself in a holistic way. Let me tell you it feels great! Don’t get me wrong we all need connection, but you shouldn’t be dependent on the connection. Interdependency is the goal and I’m getting closer and closer every day.
These are important lessons I learned after college that is helping me get through life as we speak. Of course, this is just a smaller segment of a larger picture but still has just as much value.
Through the mistakes, heartbreak, and good times I’ve come to realize that life isn’t linear and stops for no one. You have to grab it by the horns and make it instead of it making you. The great thing about life is that you never stop learning.
So I’ll continue to learn and be resilient through the trials I may face. I encourage you to do the same because you’re worth it no matter what people say or how hard life is hitting you right now. You are not your mistakes and you are important. Don’t forget. Trust me I have to remind myself every day.